Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Marrying too young?

My friend Terry noted on an earlier post that a distressing reality has shown itself among his friends who married young; a lot of them are getting divorced. Like Terry, I married a little bit older, and like him, I'm grateful that I was a little bit more mature when I married.

That noted, note the key word; it's not "age," but rather "maturity." What might Terry's friends have done to reduce their risk for divorce?

Well, I obviously don't know them, but I'd have to suggest that acting the part of a grown man might help a young man avoid divorce. Serve in a meaningful way at church--ushering, nursery, etc..--and don't simply settle for a "leadership" position in your age group. Find and keep a real job. Learn to save money.

And yes, give blood. Would it have saved every marriage? Doubtful, but it might have helped. Marriage is, after all, all about looking out for someone else's good, no?

3 comments:

Gabrielle Eden said...

You mean that's where I've gone wrong all along? I simply cannot give blood Bike!!!!!!

pentamom said...

Gabrielle, I don't think (and I'm sure Bike doesn't mean) that it's precisely 1 to 1. I'm happily married for 20 years, and I've never given blood, due to chronic anemia (the kind that is well controlled with iron supplements, but does not make my blood good for the kind of person who needs somebody else's blood.) OTOH, hubby gives reasonably regularly, though probably less than half as often as they would take it.

Yeah, I don't like the concept of "too young to marry." "Not ready" to marry is fine, but within the legal parameters (probably plus a few years on the male side), I don't think that birthdays are a strong determiner. The average age of first marriage keeps going up, but the divorce rate isn't dropping nearly as fast, from what I can tell. Twenty-two for both hubby and me has worked out fine, and I can think of several couples who married young who are doing well decades down the road -- but they all had other necessary ingredients. It's the other ingredients that make the larger difference.

Bike Bubba said...

Gabrielle: :^). Ya, I was telling da GUYS, not da GALS, to give.