Monday, May 22, 2006

What the world needs....

...is some good marriage counseling for all adults, no matter what their marital status. Or rather, a portion of it that I remember about "fighting fair." No, Mrs. Bike Bubba and I are doing great--thanks! :^)

What am I getting at? All too often, I see a dispute that is fairly innocuous in itself becoming cancerous as the participants refuse to apply Biblical reconciliation principles found in Matthew 18 and elsewhere. Particularly heartbreaking are cases when people ask for a meeting, are refused, and then think it's OK to air out their grievances in the media, believing that shaming someone in the Times or on CNN is going to solve the problem.

I know I'm always encouraged to reconcile when I get slammed in the mass media. You too?

But seriously, I'd argue that a lot of the carnage we see in churches and schools could be avoided if we simply remembered that Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 6 to rather be wronged than take a debate before the "court" of public opinion. Or, as the pastor who did my wedding would say, you don't reconcile with your wife by shaming her in front of her friends.

Good advice for marriage, wisdom for life.

2 comments:

Mercy Now said...

Very good words. When we talk about someone behind their backs, however right we may be, we are degrading their character. Mat 18 is there b/c you would want someone to come to you first if you've been misunderstood. I know plenty of times when I've misunderstood someone so that's when I asked for clarification. The other case is when I've been completely wrong and someone came and showed me otherwise. I'm glad they did and appreciated them for doing so when they could have gone to others and bad mouth me.

It is also good to stop people when they are accusing or airing bad things about others. This means when we hear gossip, we tell them to stop gossiping, go to the person they are talking about, and make it right.

Bike Bubba said...

Maybe good to remind people what they're doing, but not always the most pleasant task--I'm afraid that many of us (probably including me from time to time) or so acclimated to backstabbing that we play the part of the fool when confronted for it.