Monday, September 24, 2007

How do you greet a Persian President?

My thoughts here are probably too late to help anyone at Columbia, as if anyone there is actually reading this humble site, but if any of my five overall readers has the chance to greet Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (sp?), here is a humble suggestion.

Put on your best burqa, grab that Cosco mongo-sized bag of fried pork rinds, and hit the streets. When you see the man, give him that modified Roman salute...except...modify it a bit more by flipping your hand over and....yup, just one finger will do the trick. Start yelling "Heil Schicklgruber", and (this is very important in Middle Eastern culture) use your LEFT hand to throw as many pork rinds into the path of his car/walk as possible. Bonus points if you bring some friends who drench him in a fusillade of "Milwaukee's Beast" or "Mad Dog."

He'll love it, I assure you.

Seriously, it astounds me that Columbia and others are attempting to "dialogue" with a man who cannot even bring himself to admit that the Holocaust was real. One would think that postmodernists like those you find at universities would be the first to realize that debating with someone who cannot accept basic facts is futile, but evidently not.


pentamom said...

Could I suggest a slight modification?

Before you throw each handful of pork rinds, wrap it in a sock.

Bike Bubba said...

Or what about a water balloon filled with Mad Dog and soggy pork rinds..... hmmmmm.....

Might have to update this one.

Marklark said...

I'm thinking that the security details around the guy would act a bit less precipitously if you stuck to the unencumbered pork rinds.

Chances are that there will be some sort of hand/foot washing device installed for him wherever he goes, anyway. Bah.

Bike Bubba said...

Pork rind confetti, maybe, from the office windows or rooftops? Well said about the security guard--evidently they cleared away all the protesters. Probably necessary, but what a shame that he didn't get the chance to face them.

kingdavid said...

Security guard detail for the world's most powerful nutcase---where do I send my resume.

I'd love to sit in on one of those interviews and see what they ask.

Are you willing to take a pork rind in the gut for our fearless leader?

Didn't Clint Eastwood make a movie about such a scenario?