Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Bike Bubba's Visitor's Guide for GOP Delegates

You know, after a long day conventioneering, a convention delegate has a bit of relaxation to do. contrary to Pentamom's claim, there is a lot to do in and around Pig's Eye Landing. Here's the "Big Ten" list.

1. Watch the barges go by on the Mississippi.

2. Visit the MOA. Just be careful; it's a posted "no carry" (welcome criminals--your victims are disarmed for your convenience!) zone.

3. Go to the Minneapolis City Hall and ask to mow the roof.

4. Visit the Twine Ball in Darwin, just one hour west on highway 12.

5. Visit Keegan's and meet some real MOB-sters.

6. Watch the Twinkies play the Tiggers at the Homer-dome on the 5th and 6th.

7. Dodge "bombs" of human waste thrown by protesters. It's not entirely clear whether this is "imminent fear of death or grievous bodily harm," though. Respond with pepper spray instead of lead, please.

8. Hand out those little hotel bars of soap to protesters. They need them more than you do. (unless you've failed at #7, of course)

9. Ask one of the 3500 police officers there where their favorite fishing spot is, and follow their advice.

10. Go to the Fabulous Thunderbird (right by the MOA!) and say hi to Hugh Hewitt, who will be staying there, I'm told.

11. Watch the Goofers play (lose to) perennial powerhouse Northern Illinois August 30. Sorry, you won't be in town for their battle vs. BCS favorite Montana State, but you might be able to take in a scrimmage vs. Chaska's Pop Warner champions.

Oh, and Chad has some more serious suggestions.


pentamom said...

Actually, I wasn't thinking in terms of whether there was much to do in St. Paul -- I'm not familiar enough with it. It's just that its reputation is sooooo extremely liberal that it's hard to fathom why, out of all the possible cities in the U.S., they chose that one. Were Madison, Ann Arbor, Berkeley, and Boulder all booked up?

No, indeed, if I wanted to rag on a city for having insufficient amenities for conventions, I'd pick somewhere like, oh, I dunno, maybe Erie. Which just last year built a huge hotel and convention center complex on the bayfront with my tax money (as well as, get this, a room tax imposed on non-government funded county hotels.) Yippee.

Bike Bubba said...


Actually, I don't know that it's that much more liberal than Boston or Chicago or New York. Reputation, yes, but in reality, most Minnesotans live their lives pretty sanely. Unless there is a pro rassler running for governor, of course.