After finding feces on the school gym floor, teachers and administrators force two dozen elementary school students to drop their trousers. Apart from the blatant invasion of privacy and humiliation of these kids, exactly what were they trying to find? It's not as though "racing stripes" aren't commonly found on the underwear of flatulent young skulls full of much, after all. Teachers yet again proving that yes, the college of education does have the lowest SAT and ACT scores in most colleges and universities, I guess.
Speaking of which, I'm very grateful this morning that my colonoscopy results came back as "come back in three years." And if you're considering whether you really ought to go in for yours and endure the unpleasant preparation, I can say unequivocally that it beats the tar out of a morphine drip. Visit someone in hospice care for a few hours if you doubt this.
Finally, on the light side, I heard that there is a reason that many politicians have to get "virtual" colonoscopies. They tried the standard procedure, but after a few cups of GoLytely or Moviprep, there was nothing left. Come to think of it, we should require the real thing for politicians, shouldn't we?