On the light side....

....my manager is about to retire, and he informed us that two candidates for his position were undergoing psychological exams to determine their fitness for the position. Given that too many managers (thankfully not my own) I know more or less work by intimidation and bullying, I have to wonder what they're looking for.

Then again, maybe I don't want to know.

Another way to cure subordinates' lust for advancement; make clear in your address to employees that the CEO that you've got blood in your caffeine instead of vice versa.