Friday, November 02, 2007

Mugged by reality

Contrary to my profile, I'm 38, not 251, and recent events have gotten me thinking. You see, I'm becoming a great uncle--and considering my niece was considering abortion, it's quite a relief.

As too often happens, this dear girl got herself into the party scene, and...well, it was sadly too predictable. I wonder what might have been done to help her.

Some might suggest "abstinence education." Well, on a marginal level, probably, but I'm reminded of something I thought (but thankfully did not say) when a parent suggested that his child's misbehavior in Sunday School was my fault: "please don't blame me; I have your child for an hour, and the other 167 each week belong to you." It would be hard to undo years of training in hypersexuality in a nine week course, I think.

And so I'm left to consider the rest of her influences--really all teens' influences, more or less. Would it have helped if teachers and parents had insisted that sexually charged songs not be played at school dances? Would it have helped if the TV had not been used as a babysitter? Would it have helped if broadcasters produced something besides filth? Would it have helped if her parents had chosen a better lifestyle, and helped her learn the art of modest dress and behavior?

I'd have to guess "yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes"--and yes to a few other factors as well. And though this is certainly a good step forward, it's water under the bridge now, and my wife and I get to love our niece and coming grand-niece-or-nephew. Pray that we might be able to point her to the better way.

10 comments:

W.B. Picklesworth said...

I just wanted to note that this was an answer to prayer. As for the rest of it you are quite right. Since the societal norm has swung so dangerously far towards promiscuity, we must get all kinds of things right in order to avoid that for our children. Obviously that it isn't easy, but that's what love is, right?

Shawn said...

...or, we can just be there when things get messed up. It was real hard to delete the first word I'd typed there, because it fits so much better than 'messed'.

I'm glad you get to be there for her when different things than that one (and traumatically painful, I'm sure) instance go wrong.

imfreenow.blogspot.com said...

I just prayed that prayer for you. 38! You sound older, in a good way!

imfreenow.blogspot.com said...

Wait a minute! Now I know why you sound older. Your blog says a middle aged man. Middle age is supposed to mean "middle of 100." That's what I was taught.

Bike Bubba said...

Ben, well said--this is an answer to prayer, and if I might ask those of a mind to do so to continue to do so, that would be greatly appreciated.

And certainly it's good to be there when the "SNAFU" commences--somehow I'm simply not contented to just leave it at that, though.

(and gosh, I hate to see that word be applied to something so beautiful as the marital act, though possibly I could apply it when it's not in marriage)

Finally, thanks for the encouragement, Gabrielle.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bert,

That's so hard, it is good your neice will have family like you in her life to love and support her and her child. It will change her life immeasurably and she will need you.

It's been good to read about some of the latest studies which show that abstinence education does help. However, I think the only thing which really does good in such a sex-saturated culture is to instill a sense of eternity and appreciation of wisdom in the young.

They might "beat the odds" on pregnancy or disease, but they won't on heartache. Trust me.

Kamilla

P.S. About your comments elsewhere - how did you get from Boulder to "Frostbite Falls"? I went from the Twin Cities to Denver. If you want to answer off-blog, you can contact me through the link I've provided.

Bike Bubba said...

Got to Boulder for grad school (Go Huskers!), and came to Minnesota with a job change. Thanks for the visit, and your comments are well taken.

Anonymous said...

You don't value your safety very highly do you? Go Huksers indeed!

Kamilla

Bike Bubba said...

I actually wore a Nebraska sweatshirt to Folsom Field as Big Red beat the Buffies. Was great fun, as much like the football team, CU fans are relatively harmless. :^)

(reason for rooting for Big Red; Ski U more or less broke every promise they made to me, and in doing so cheated you the taxpayer out of quite a bit of green...and to be fair, I doubt that this is rare in academia)

imfreenow.blogspot.com said...

Bert - see my post on the movie August Rush - it's about meeting a guy at a party and sleeping with him.